Relationships are hard. Add to them the element of a mental
illness and they become almost impossible. But I’ve learned a lot from my
husband, most importantly, that you need to love yourself in order to really be
able to love anyone else and for that person to love you back the way you
deserve to be loved.
I struggled with my bipolar disorder for a few years before
meeting my husband. My relationship before him had done a number on me and tore
me down pretty good. But I got diagnosed as having bipolar disorder, started
therapy and medications and started the healing process. I don’t think I
would’ve ever found “the one” if I hadn’t learned to love myself. People seem
to think they need a significant other to make their lives complete. I firmly
believe that you have to be complete as a person before you can wholly love
someone else. Not only that but self-confidence is attractive. If you are happy
with who you are, people notice and are happy to be around you.
My husband and I met at work and hit it off right away. We
had only been dating for four months when we decided to move in together. We’ve
been together for almost ten years now and have never been happier. He’s kind
and supportive and does everything he can to help me with my bipolar disorder.
It hasn’t all been smooth sailing. We definitely have our ups and downs. But we
seem to balance each other out. We don’t “complete” each other but we
compliment each other in ways that I can’t imagine ever happening with anyone
else. When I’m at my lowest point of desperation, and I feel like there’s no
point in trying, he listens and encourages me to not give up. When I’m having a
manic episode, he’s there to remind me that “no, I really don’t need a Home
Shopping Network credit card” and then he’s still there to help with the
inevitable depression that comes after. And I do the same for him. He does not
suffer from a mental illness but I support him in all of his creative
endeavors. He mentioned that he’d like to do something with photography one day,
so I got him a camera and told him to “do something with it.” Relationships
need to be built on mutual respect and support.
Before my marriage I couldn’t have ever been a good partner
to anyone because I didn’t place any value on myself. I was undiagnosed and
felt like I was going crazy. I was wildly swinging from manic highs and
depressive lows with no understanding as to what was happening. I felt
worthless, like I was a waste of space. I have since learned that I DO have
value. We all do. We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t. Therapy and the right dose
of meds has helped me see that I’m not “crazy” and can actually live a very
normal life. Having my husband in my life is the best thing that ever happened
to me and really helps put the daily struggle into perspective. I feel that a
love like ours exists for everyone, you just have to love yourself in order to
see it.
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